22 Dec Certified Mail : Christmas Gift?
Yesterday I received a certified letter in the mail. I was curious so I quickly opened it. I thought, “Maybe it’s a Christmas Gift!”
I felt like I had the wind knocked out of me after I read the following lines that let me know we were being sued as a result of a car accident my husband’s mom had been in four weeks ago. In the accident my mother-in-law lost her life.
After reading the letter I said, “Well, Merry Christmas to us!”
The past few months have seemed to be filled with proverbial punches to the gut and face over and over. My mother in law went home, unexpectedly, to be with Jesus. Finances have been tighter than ever in our 23 years of marriage. My dog is on her last leg. My brother was involved in a head on collision that nearly claimed his life and has been fighting like a warrior for his recovery. My computer crashed (we use it for church). Cherry on top : I haven’t bought any Christmas gifts!
Now I know many people checked out of reading this already because it is too depressing, sad, and real. We live in such a society that everyone lives in the highlights of others. We are use to being inundated with perfection.
I would never normally write something like this. I know I am a messenger of Christ and usually pride myself in bringing Hope. So, hold on I am going somewhere.
All week I have had really crazy thoughts going through my mind. Sadness has been overwhelming. Anyone that knows me can understand this is completely against my normal nature. Last night I vocalized some of those thoughts with Micky and when I heard them out loud it made me realize just hard the enemy had been battling me.
This morning when I woke up at 5am my first thought was : “What if you’re not the only one you know struggling this Season?” I am no stranger to struggle. My son battled cancer for 4 years – but that struggle was different. It was a struggle people had compassion on and were eager to pray and encourage. This has been different : internal, alone, private, constant, and coming from many different angles.
Maybe you are reading this and you have had days of crying in your car when no one was around, laying in bed struggling to stop your mind, or mornings where getting out of bed takes all the strength you can find because you simply don’t want to go into the day. I want to encourage you to hold on!
“The mountains and hills may crumble,
but my love for you will never end;
I will keep forever my promise of peace.”
So says the Lord who loves you.”
Isaiah 43:2 : (below) encouraged me this morning because it never promises that we won’t have to pass through fire and water, but that it won’t take us out. You may be grasping for breath, but keep breathing. Talk about it. Say it out loud. Call me, call someone. You don’t have to have it all together.
“When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.”
About 2am this morning I was sleeping and Micky woke me up and told me to quit snoring. I wasn’t snoring I was grasping for breath because in my dream I was drowning and couldn’t breath.
I remember when I was a teenager I almost drowned in Panama City, FL. I didn’t care how I looked at that moment. When water was filling my lungs all I did was flail my arms, feverishly attempt to get my toes to touch something, and scream for help. I was clinging to life. I want to encourage you to cling to life. There is hope beyond this wave that is trying it’s best to take you down. Scream out to God. Scream out to a friend. Just don’t stay silent. Don’t do this alone.
Find a song for your season. In every season God has given me a song to hold to. If you don’t have a song I give you mine (click link to go to YouTube):
Fight until you get out of the deep end. There is more on the shores for you to do. This season will end. I am praying for you today. If you need encouragement or prayer please let me know : firstname.lastname@example.org //